desert terrarium

I have been wanting to take a stab at making my own terrarium for a while now. This weekend I decided it was time to go ahead and try it. I also wanted to see if I could do it for less than $20! Here is what I came up—the glass container cost me $6, two bags of rocks were $5, each plant was about $2.5 each, and then I used some soil I already had. All of the trinkets—the marbles, the feather, etc., were things I already had around the house too. Bringing the final total to right about $20! The fun of it is being creative with what container you want to use, or which plants you like best. I love succulents, so I went with more of a desert style; but many others use ferns and moss, even orchids. Some are strictly focused on an artful arrangement of the plants, while others are built around figurines, making it a small little world. There is something intriguing about bringing a collection of plants indoors and placing them on display, often times literally under a glass globe or bell jar. It combines nature with art, and causes you to take a second glance.

I am no expert, but in my research on building and caring for a terrarium there seemed to be a bit of a formula. A glass container, a layer of rocks or gravel for drainage, a layer of soil, then the plants. Often another layer between the plants and the soil is added to regulate moisture, some use rocks, others moss. If you go with the style I choose, you will want to get a container that is open at the top. But, if you go the tropical route, you will need to have a lid of some sort to hold the moisture in. This will create a small ecosystem within the container that will maintain itself, with only the slightest bit of watering.

Below are the directions for what I made and a few links that I found helpful. It was a lot of fun to make, and I expect it will not be the last one I put together.

Desert Terrarium
- Glass container that is open at the top
- Place a layer of rocks 1-2 inches thick at the bottom
- Layer of soil. I laid the soil down unevenly to allow for a little more depth and dimension, basically created a small hill on one side.
- 3-5 succulent plants, varying in size. Number of plants is determined by the size of your container and how crowded you might want your terrarium. Shake the dirt from the root system and place in soil. Add any extra soil in order to secure the plants.
- Cover with a layer of small rocks. I went this route vs. sand because of the ease of watering and not having to deal with sand getting all over the plants while putting it together.
- Place any found objects around the plants to add color and make it uniquely yours!

Allow for sunlight and water every two weeks.

Terrarium links for inspiration:
DesignSponge feature
Martha Stewart
Etsy terrarium search

shop terrain #2

I have already mentioned this store/website before, but in the process of looking for a few gifts I found more stuff that I love! I have heard and read a lot about using different salts lately in cooking, so am curious about that Pink Himalayan salt. Also, I think it would look beautiful on the kitchen counter! The bird house and garden stakes would be perfect for my updated yard. And the top right item is a grain measure...I bought a stack of these a few years ago at the flea market and love them—they hold all sorts of art supplies in my studio. (Little secret...I only paid $10 for mine as opposed to $24! Nashvillians, let me know if you want the scoop on where to find them!)

the rural studio

I mentioned last week that I was going to Mississippi for a few days. It is a significant drive, and while some of it is interstate, the majority is not. It consists of small roads winding through even smaller towns. There may be miles of nothing but land and trees, and then a quick surge of houses. Possibly even a store or two. Some of the areas I passed through are so rural, had I not already been familiar with it, I might have been alarmed by the conditions of some of the houses and buildings. But, if you look closely, you see what people have done to make use of what structures they have. I even began to notice some really interesting houses that were stepping outside of the simple box and working within the land. For example, there was one house that was literally built into the hill on the property and only a portion of it sat on top. It was actually quite impressive, and from what I could tell, clever.

It got me thinking about a program called The Rural Studio. I was lucky enough to catch a documentary on it last year, called Citizen Architect, and have had it on my mind ever since. The Rural Studio was established in 1993 at Auburn University by two architecture professors—Dennis K. Ruth and the late Samuel Mockbee—with the purpose of improving the rural areas of Alabama and providing actual experience for architecture students. There are so many amazing things about this program—not only the education, but also the experience and relationships that are gained. There is also the challenge to be creative with the surroundings, as well as the materials used. I admire the concept of teaching the responsibilities of the profession and inspiring younger generations stepping into the field to approach it differently. I highly recommend taking a few minutes to look through the projects on their website, and try to see the film if you can. Even if architecture is not your thing, you cannot deny the beauty of what is being done here.

Hale County Animal Shelter

Harris/Butterfly House

Antioch Baptist Church

Akron Boys and Girls Club

Willie Bell House

found while walking

I tend to look down when I am walking. I have read that not making eye contact is a sign of insecurity, but that is not why I do it. I am just always looking for things—unique leaves, rocks, feathers, patterns, color palettes happening naturally, odd everyday objects on the ground. I like to take pictures of these things; sometimes I pick them up and take them home to find just the right spot for them to live. One of my favorite moments I ever had with E was doing just this. We were on a walk, it was in the middle of the fall, and there were so many amazing leaves and pods on the ground. I kept stopping to pick them all up, creating my own little bouquet—when out of nowhere this huge wind came and literally swept every little leaf off of this one cluster. I clung tightly to it, and was so upset to be left with a measly stick, until I heard E laughing, which then of course had me laughing; and then we couldn't stop. Everyone turned to look but it didn't matter, we could NOT stop laughing. I love to remember that moment. I still have all of those little things I collected that day. In true fashion I photographed them when I got home and found a spot for them in my bookshelf.

This blog focuses on just that. In blog land it is hard to come across an original concept to focus on, so it is refreshing to stumble upon it. It is interesting to see what other people find and how it makes its way into their artwork and patterns.

I don't think people do enough of this. Observe what is around them. We seem to always have our phones in front of our faces—which I am also guilty of—but what are we missing in the meantime? Sure, there is some balance needed here, whether it is our phone or the ground we are focused on. But what if today, instead of pulling out something to occupy our attention when we have a free moment, we instead look around us and see what is actually there. Maybe we will find a pretty leaf, maybe a beautiful sky, or maybe we will share an unforgettable moment with the person standing next to us before the wind takes them away.

two months, one week, and two days

This baby boy is a little over two months old already! Time flies! You always hear how fast they grow and there is a reason for that—it is true. I get to see him this weekend though and cannot believe how ecstatic I am about that. Pictures emailed and texted, even little videos help me get my fix, but holding that baby in the flesh is the ultimate!

yard makeover ideas

With the past few weekends feeling like Spring, I am starting to get excited about getting some outside projects going. I am thankful to have such a large yard, so there is plenty of room for some nice beds, trees, even a garden; and still give the dogs plenty of room to run. I already have a few ideas of what I want to do—basic things like extend the beds in the front and lay down some mulch, pull up some bushes, replant more, trim back others. But, there is one area in the back that I really want to make into a shady sitting area for the dogs and myself. Haven't quite figured out how yet, but have been scanning through images that I have pulled for inspiration. All the healthy green grass, and sunny skies are a stark contrast to this dreary rain we are having here in Nashville today!

All images can be found here.

to read or not to read

While I am not necessarily the most dedicated reader out there, I enjoy it, and have a real love for books. There is something so intriguing about the act of finding a book and making that decision to take it home. I don’t have a huge library, but what I do have, I feel, is a perfect representation of who I am. I believe most people’s collection of books are, and always enjoy observing others’ shelves when I am in their home. I have hauled my modest group around with me for years and can’t imagine my rooms without them. Being a designer I am drawn to the book covers. Unless I already know it is something I want to read, I absolutely judge a book by its cover. I lean this way with wine labels too. If I see one that stands out to me, I tend to pick it up. I also love to peruse the rows of books to look at all of the illustrations and fonts being used. It is a great source of inspiration. And then there is the smell. I love the smell of a new book—all crisp and freshly printed. I also love the smell of an old book, especially from a library or an antique store.

With all of this being said, I bought myself a Kindle recently. And to be honest, I could not love it more!

This is such a surprise to me because it is the opposite of all of the above, but a few months ago I downloaded the Kindle app for my phone and found myself reading a lot. A LOT. I am the kind of reader who usually has a few books going at once, but the problem is I tend to not finish any of them. Having the majority of those books in one place that is as portable as it is, seems to be the key factor that is making the difference for me right now. So I decided that I would jump on this change and not question it too much, because at the end of the day I am reading more. I am still not sure how I will manage to grow my collection, but I expect that I will. I see this as an opportunity to walk into more used books stores to find those that are keepers, and make more room on my Kindle!

garden & gun

Immediately following college graduation I applied for a job to be the designer for a magazine called The Oxford American. I had known this magazine since it had been in the early stages of production out of Oxford, MS and respected it so much; so it was nothing for me to want to move to Conway, Arkansas to work with it. The only problem was, as I mentioned before, I had just graduated from college. I had no clue how to design a magazine from front to back, and I got the impression that there were no other designers working there. A few years later I DID actually design a magazine front to back. A fashion magazine for Nashville. That lasted one issue only because the owner squandered all of the money and apparently took off to Toronto! Through that experience though, I realized a few things: (a) I would have been totally screwed if I had somehow talked my way into the OA job because I would have not been able to design on that level at that time (b) what a difference a few years can make because I actually put an entire magazine together in less than a month, and (c) as I had always thought, I really want to work for a magazine one day. Well, I recently came across one that made me remember this. It is called Garden & Gun; and don't let the name fool you!!

It is, and I quote from their website, "A Southern lifestyle magazine that's all about the magic of the new South—sporting culture, food, music, art, literature, people, and ideas". It is sleek, well written, well designed, cool, and unpretentious. All things most folks don't usually associate with the South, except for maybe unpretentious. I can only speak for the more recent issues, as they are the only ones I have seen, but here is a recap of what those have contained: articles on Sea Turtle rescue after the oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, urban farming, duck hunting in Mississippi, Justin Townes Earle, longtime friends who now distill their own whiskey, and some photographs by this artist titled "Lost Boys". There are articles on food and products that are created in the South. The first issue of 2011 is a Music Issue and not only do they feature The Avett Brothers, but they also focus on Steve Martin and his bluegrass music. There are beautiful films on their website to accompany many of the articles, as well as a few of blogs to follow.

I appreciate what this magazine is doing for the South. It is highlighting what I think a lot of us know is happening down here. And it is doing it with beautifully written articles, inspiring photography, and an honest approach to what it features. I love the South, and am proud to be from here. I get how some of the stereotypes are absolutely true and I wish that weren't the case. But, I don't feel the need to think that what is happening here is less than desirable, that there are all of these other places that are so much better. Of course, I love to travel, and see new places, and experience other cultures; but it is good to come home. The voice this magazine has is absolutely the "new South". It is hip, and educated, and real, and interesting.

my love for william eggleston

I was introduced to William Eggleston's work during college. I immediately fell for it. I understand it. It makes sense to me. More so than a really beautiful black and white photograph of a landscape—not that there is anything wrong with that! Maybe it just has more to do with the fact that his subject matter is primarily shot in the South, a lot of it being in and around Mississippi and the Delta. It is subject matter that is familiar.

Anyway, the Frist is currently featuring an exhibit on him, so recently I went. What a treat to see his work up close. There is an image that I have looked at many times, but only after standing inches away from it did I notice an airplane in the upper left corner. This made me smile. I love his work because of this. Everyday images, but if you look closely there are so many layers to it. For the longest time, the only art book I had was a book of his photography called 2 1/4. I have spent a lot of time looking through this book and every time I turn a page I am always left wondering why he captured that image. What was it about each particular moment that caught his attention? I love that it is never explained either. We are spoon-fed all of these messages and symbols and meanings, it is refreshing to have to look a little closer.

His color palette is the other thing that RESONATES with me. A pale blue sky against a bright red car, a tree covered in vines that are the most beautiful shades of green, a lady in a navy dress sitting on a bright yellow wall, a white man dressed in a black suit next to a black man dressed in a white jacket. If I were only looking for color inspiration, I would find a new palette in every image. But I am looking for more reasons than that. The content of his photography is intriguing and confusing. It sometimes feels too private. Other times, is light. But never boring.

I am happy to have this exhibit in town for a while longer. I expect to visit a few times. I am also happy to have purchased my third "real" art book because of it.

lottie+doff mac+cheese

I have a minor issue with taking pictures of the food I am eating, as you may have already noticed! But I don't talk much about how much I enjoy cooking! There was an interest at a young age, but over the past few years I have actually learned to prepare food well. E had a love of cooking and I learned a lot from him. He was the kind that didn't need a recipe. Could just throw it together and voilà! I still need the recipe crutch but have been doing it long enough now to be able to prepare a handful of dishes by heart. Trying new recipes makes me a bit uneasy though. There is nothing more disappointing than spending time in the kitchen only to have the food turn out so-so. This has happened quite often for me when I have tried something new! But this was not the case for this Mac + Cheese last night. The recipe came from a blog that I frequent, and it really turned out the way I had hoped it would. I didn't have red pepper flakes so left that out, and I would maybe put in less onion (only because I tend to like less onion in all food), but I will definitely add this to my list of keepers. Try it! It is perfect weather for this comfort food!

january, snow, and peace

There has been more snow these past few months than I have ever experienced. It has been cold. Gray most days. This winter has been difficult. I have been stuck inside, so I am reading more. Mostly about grief. Whether it has been someone else's experience or just facts about the process. I started with one story, which led to another, which leads to more. I tend to "go to the literature" when I am presented with something new. To get a bigger picture of it all. In the end I believe this will be a rewarding thing, but lately I have not been so sure. It brings up realities and feelings that at this point in healing might be better left untouched. But I know better than to pretend it is not there, so I continue forward.

I was presented with something today, however, that renewed my belief in the bigger picture. Reminded me that energy and love and souls never really separate. In the midst of this sadness, this grief and mourning, this gray, dormant, quiet space I am in; I was given a gift of true peace. To say I am thankful is an understatement. It is life-altering.

fred shand quilts

If you know me, you know I love the store Anthropologie. I love their catalogs, mostly for inspiration, and still have the very first one that I got while in college. So receiving their email blast is equally exciting! Although, there are some days I just have to delete it before opening because I don't even want to see what I can't afford! I am thankful today was not one of those days. They featured some of their new items that will wake up your dwelling. One of which were these quilts and pillows by Fred Shand. The part of my soul that is the artist was singing this morning as I scrolled through the items. I have a belief that one day I will be experienced enough of a quilter to make art quilts that would hang on the wall. Not the kind you see in log cabins, more along the lines of these.

where do my bluebird fly

I feel the need to share this video and song. I have been to this exact place. With E. We had lunch right there to the left in the area under the umbrellas. They joke in the beginning of the video about it being right in the middle of the tourists. And it was! But, we didn't care. We were together in Australia, nothing else mattered. What a beautiful day that was. What a beautiful and sad memory that is. What a beautiful and sad song this is. I find it a bit haunting though. In the way that songs can sometimes touch on something that you are feeling and you don't really know how to say.




"Where Do My Bluebird Fly"
The Tallest Man on Earth

Oh, well I knew you shook the set-up baby,
of all the leaves up in the ground
And I know our song is all but healthy
as I see dry leaves fallin' down, oh
With all this fever in my mind,
I could drown in your kerosene eyes oh
You're just a riddle in the sky
Oh, where do my bluebird fly?

And as the early sign of dawn and thunder
I see you stir the fog around
And when you find the voice and gears of sunset
we'll hear that high and lonesome sound, oh
And I will question every wind
if they gone through the glow of your eyes oh
You're just a riddle in the sky
Oh, where do my bluebirds fly?
I say where do my bluebirds fly?

Oh, well I know you stroke your feathers baby
upon the ghosts along my trail
And I know our lie was sold and buried
before I knew it was for sale, oh
With all this fever in my mind
I could aim for your kerosene eyes oh
You're just a target in the sky
I say where do my bluebirds fly?
I say where do my bluebirds fly?

dancing, climbing in the attic, and long weekends

The first few weeks of this new year have somehow slipped by me! Plenty has happened, but nothing worth going into detail about. All of this snow and cold weather seems to slow me down a bit. However, this weekend was one of the better weekends I have had in a while.

Dancing on lower Broadway.
Working with a dog trainer
Found a cool new hangout that is just around the corner.
Had some great help with cleaning/organizing the attic.
Spent time with a friend that I have not seen in over 5 years.
Finally met her two beautiful little girls.
And, believe it or not had plenty of time to catch up on terrible tv!

This is the last long weekend for a while, I am thankful it was a good one!

new year

With a new year comes reflection on the year gone by. We make lists of things that were memorable and words that sum it up. We make more lists of resolutions for the new one in front of us. I feel pretty sure that when I continue to look back on this year all that will come to mind was how shitty it was. It was a terrible, sad, difficult year, and I am content to see it go. Clearly, not every part of it was terrible, but as a whole you get what I am saying. As far as my expectations for 2011—well, I have none. I literally want nothing to happen. For it to be uneventful and boring. That would be wonderful actually. I wonder sometimes that if I didn't make any big sudden movements, would I slip by unnoticed for a while. I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it is a true thought that I continue to have. I also know it is unrealistic, so am only halfway serious about all of this.

As much as I am not one to make resolutions at the start of a new calendar year, there are a few concepts that have presented themselves to me over the past few months. They have been on my mind enough to feel like a new year is a good time to delve further into them. A month or so ago my therapist told me that I need to learn to "just be". It sounds so simple, yet it is a concept I have been searching to define for years and years. To just BE. To be who I am, where I am in life, when I am, and how I am at all times. Seems simple, yet why is it so hard for most of us? And I KNOW I am not alone in this. So I have been mulling that over for a while now. The other day I decided I would google "How to Be" in my search to have this answered. Let me just note that the first EIGHT entries where focused on some Robert Pattinson movie with this title. I think this is so interesting. I am not sure what I was looking for, maybe a book, or some article of someone else delving into this further, but instead I got a million images of the star from the Twilight series. Chalk it up to my fault for trying to "google" this issue! So, it looks like there are no manuals on this. No easy way to go about it.

I also recently read an article in one of my favorite magazines about a woman who challenged herself to ask her loved ones how she could love them better. This is such a scary concept, what would people actually say?! But it is such an amazing idea. Why would we not want to know this? What a challenging and rewarding shift that could be. I am assuming the age-old theory of one has to love themselves before they can love others comes into play here. It is not that I don't love who I am, but we could all be a little kinder to ourselves. I feel if I can understand how to BE a bit more, I may not have to ask others how to love them better. It may happen naturally.

The one thing that has obviously come from this year was learning to understand death more; which in turn forces you to look at life. I have found myself letting go of things that used to hold more importance in my life, and grasping onto the things that are truth. I can see that in doing so there is more opportunity to actually live. And live well. I may still want to give 2010 "the bird", however, I can't help but give it credit for being the year real transformation began.

Happy New Year to all of you. May you burn your lists of expectations and instead experience life!

the best little christmas gift

On a Tuesday morning, December 21st, the sweetest little Christmas gift arrived.
6 lbs. 12 oz. 21 inches long. My nephew Hunter.

What a relief that all went well, and what a miracle a new baby is! I may be partial but this baby is so sweet and beautiful, and a rockstar. His entry into the world seemed like it was just another day! He wasn't crying or freaked out, but rather just taking it all in. And my sister and brother-in-law are rockin' it too. I have never really watched this process up close, but am amazed by how naturally humans figure it all out. Of course, there are plenty of books out there to inform the parents, but I am not sure that is it. To see a day old baby figure out how to get food and cry when he needs something, well, there is definitely something built inside of us to be able to do that.

It was a very different Christmas this year, and for that I am grateful. I can't really think of another "distraction" that would be as enjoyable as he is!

christmas gathering

When I moved to Nashville, I only had about three friends that already lived here. Granted, they were some of my best friends and past roommates, but coming from college and a small town where I had established friendships that had grown over many, many years; it was a leap to get out there and really have to meet so many new people. And start over essentially. It was at my first job that I met some of the key people who have been in my life all of my years in Nashville. Countless birthday parties, holiday gatherings, New Year's Eve's, weddings, and trips. We have all been through so many phases together. Good and bad. And as different as we all are from each other, our time together is still filled with as much laughter and conversation as the days we first met. We have been a family. This year a lot has happened to this family...there was the passing of E, a marriage, and a new baby. And the new year will bring even more change as our little crew is going to be saying goodbye to friends moving to Portland, Oregon and another to New York City. So this year's holiday gathering was kind of bittersweet. We had a new "member" in the form of a tiny 8 month old join us! But, it might also be the last time we all gather like we have all these years for Christmas. Unfortunately, change is inevitable and necessary, so there is no need to dwell on it. It was nice to spend an evening with wonderful friends and food and enjoy the time we do have together.

elephant ceramics

When I see work like these pieces from Elephant Ceramics it makes me stop dead in my tracks, sit quietly, and really take a look at what it is I am seeing. There were a million thoughts that were racing through my mind at first glance. "Where can I BUY one of those platters?!", "What a beautiful shape.", "This photography and styling is unbelievable!", "The blue is my favorite, oh wait, no the white. Oh that green!". You get the idea. I come across a lot of inspiring things, this blog is focused on that! But rarely, do I stumble on something that I keep coming back to look at. Over and over. There are so many things done right by the artist Michele, that I will openly admit I am envious and in awe.

I spent a few semesters of college in ceramic classes. I loved everything about it and still do. In fact I decided a long time ago that when my hair begins to turn gray, I will cut it into a chin-length bob, dress only in black and white, and set up a small pottery studio. This is actually the only goal I really have in my life. The only thing I have ever really wanted to works towards. To one day spend all of my days with my hands in clay and glazes, listening to music, stripping everything down to the simplest of needs, and creating beautiful, utilitarian forms. I hardly come across a piece of pottery that I hate, but a lot of it is lost on me. The pieces from this studio however, have reminded me why this medium can be so beautiful.

knitting and yarn

This is the perfect weather to be sitting at home, cozy in your "knock-arounds" and doing something crafty! Sewing, knitting, making things out of felt. Although I don't know how to knit, all of the following images make me truly wish I did!! I am kind of flipping out over that yellow blanket, and was willing to find someone who did know how to make it for me, but the yarn might be a tad bit out of my current budget! Maybe one day. Maybe one day when I can knit it myself! I would, however, be up for finding someone to make me one of those striped blankets in a full size vs. the baby blanket size!

I have referenced Purl Soho plenty of times while looking for quilting patterns, or books, or fabric. But am taking a second glance at it in relation to all of the yarn and knitting projects. I love to go into fabric stores and browse all of the textures, patterns, and colors; but there is something more appealing about yarn. Maybe because you strip away all of those varieties of textures and patterns, and focus on the subtle variations in color and types of yarn. The palettes in some of these blankets and projects are so inspiring, I cannot seem to pick a favorite! Much less stop looking at them all!

Top L to R: Super Easy Baby Blankets; Last Minute Knitted Gifts book; Pixie Dust Lap Blanket; Pixie Dust yarn; Jade Sapphire Cashmere yarn; Brooklyn Tweed's Shelter yarn; Easy Baby Cardigan; Pixie Dust Lap Blanket

i always laugh in oxford

I spent the weekend in Oxford, MS with two of my oldest friends. I have had these friends in my life for over 20 years! It is a funny thing to know people that long. All the phases you go through together. What a blessing to still know each other so well. But, I should have gotten more pictures. I guess it is a good sign that I didn't even think to get my camera out though. My main purpose for the trip was to help one of these friends pick out paint colors for his house that is in the process of being rebuilt. I have never had to come up with a palette while the house is still only concrete and frames. But, it pushes you to really use your imagination and think about the final picture. I think we were successful!

The best part though is whenever I leave from a few days spent with these friends I always realize how much I have laughed. The kind of laughing where you are doubled over and crying. I would say that most of my friends are people that I laugh with, but this is different. I suppose that has been a big part of what has made 20 years go by so easily!

thanksgiving

A beautiful little hand-typed poem that I found in our front yard one day. E and I came home to find
paper floating around in the air, as someone nearby was burning stuff, and there it was.

Some years it is hard to really feel the weight of being thankful. Some years go by and while there are many important things that happen, the impact has been lost by the time the holiday comes around. Others it is so heavy it is all you can do to not shout out loud how grateful you are! This year for me is so heavy with events and changes and experiences and tragedy, I would be lying if I said I only felt thankful for it all. Let's just say that it is a bittersweet version of Thanksgiving.

But, there are a few things I would like to share that I am thankful for this year. The first would be my time with E. I have mentioned that on here before, but on those days when it is really hard to believe he is gone, I can only feel thankful that I even knew him at all. That he changed my life the way he did and that he loved me. It is hard to focus anymore on the hard stuff when someone gets further away from you. I am sure that is just part of the grief process but I also am beginning to believe it has as much to do with our loved one still being present in some way, helping us let all of that go. The loss is still too much some days, and I can't say I am necessarily thankful for that. Maybe one day I will be far enough away from the loss to be able to understand how necessary the grief process is in order to grasp what living really is. Which leads me to the next thing I am thankful for, the strength to move through all of this. This strength that I have had has not come from me, it has clearly been a gift from above. There is no way I possessed that on my own. There is no way any of us do. It has also been given to me through little prayers and thoughts and well wishes that are sent out to me. The outpouring of people who showed up during the week of his death still astounds me. There is something to be said for how we live our life on earth and how it effects those around you. E truly did effect those around him, in a way that most of us only wish we could do. To look around and see the variety and the number of people that were not only there to celebrate him, but who have continued to show up speaks loudly about who he was. I am so grateful for all of these people in my life. To be held up in times when you can't do it by yourself is such a humbling feeling. I cannot express the love I have for all of these people in my life. I have been stitched closer to my friends and family that were already there, and can now also call those that have known him all of these years, dear friends of mine too. It is a very large group of amazing people.

I am also thankful for the opportunity to face really hard roads and to be forced to dig deep and really look at who I am. Who I really am going to choose to be. Honestly, there are more days than I am comfortable admitting where I ask the "why me? why did all of this happen?" questions. And on those days I am absolutely NOT thankful for all of these hard roads and opportunities to face who I am becoming. But the bigger part of me realizes we all have to at some point or another, and I guess while I wish I had been given a little more time before experiencing this, I am thankful to be where I am in my journey. Mainly because I am having to learn how to just "be." How to forgive myself and to take care of myself and to live in each moment. To be okay with where I am in every step of life. This has been/is a hard lesson for me to learn. But I believe this is a lesson we continue to learn and refine all of our lives. This crash course has been difficult to swallow and be okay with, but when we don't have a choice in making it different, we have to surrender. As I am surrendering, I am seeing the beauty of how life can unfold. It is a hard thing to forgive yourself or to truly, truly love yourself; but it is necessary and I am thankful to be at a place of understanding that now.

Grief is an unbelievable process. And it is a process. I can't speak much to it as I am still in the depths of it, hopefully one day, but there are moments of absolute peace and clarity, and then two hours later you can be so lost and angry you want to throw your hands in the air and just step out for a while. At least that has been my experience. Which brings me to the last two things I am thankful for right now. The first is my home. When I say home I am referring to not only the house, but my dogs and all that is contained there. There are many days when it is just me and the dogs. I absolutely know they miss E and they understand it is different. The beauty of dogs is that they sense when you are sad or need love, and they give it freely. It sounds crazy, but the three of us have clung pretty tight through this. If I didn't have them there when I got home to greet me and lay next to me it would be a much lonelier space. Some mornings it has been strictly the fact that I needed to get up, let them out and feed them that I have been able to get going into my day. And the house itself is the ultimate comfort. I know what it is to live out of suitcases, and have friends and family graciously open up rooms to you. I have experienced this a few times in my life and as thankful as I am to them, it is still not "home." Settled. This "home" may be the thing I am most thankful for. As alone as I may feel most days, I don't when I am in the house or the yard with the dogs. I feel like I have some place to be, that not everything has been uprooted and taken from me. E loved that house so much and as crazy as it may sound, he left such great energy here. I can paint the walls and rearrange furniture but it still feels like the house we both loved and I am happy to still call it home.

And the last thing I am thankful for is a new baby coming into the world and into my life. Into my family. The timing of it all is a reminder of why we need to have faith. It was a struggle for my sister and brother-in-law, but had this baby come at any other time it wouldn't have been perfect timing. There is a bigger picture happening here and the reminder is a blessing. Besides how can one continue to want to throw in the towel when a baby is on the way. This kid doesn't have a clue what he has already done for his aunt.

Happy Thanksgiving to any and all that read this blog.

rose perfume

This is a "trend" that I completely support! I bought my first bottle of Rose perfume when I was in college. It was called "Paris Rose" and it was the perfect scent. Light, fresh, classic. Not overpowering or old lady! They stopped making it a few years later, so I bought a few bottles before it would no longer be available. I am down to my last bottle of it and only use that one for special occasions. Last year I ventured out to Stella as an everyday perfume (which for me means once in a while); so I am really interested in checking out this Stella Sheer! I imagine all of these scents would go perfectly with a crisp white shirt, a strand of pearls, and some classic ballet flats!

Seen in the December 2010 issue of Real Simple magazine

Lonny magazine

The day I received my last issue of Domino magazine was a sad day indeed. If you read my post back in January of 2009 you might remember. But today is a really GREAT day! Thanks to my mother who reads my blog and recognized the magazine being discussed on Oprah, I have found THIS! Lonny magazine!! It is basically the online version of Domino. However, it may be a little more genius. Started in October of 2009, by the former market assistant and photographer for Domino magazine, it is a bi-monthly online magazine that reads like a rag, but the unique features of the web allow for being able to click on items and be redirected to where you can buy. There is also a different level of interiors being photographed—not as staged, instead, actual real living spaces. Anyway, for those of you who have been missing this magazine like I have, this site may fill that void for you! Now that is one less thing to be sad about, right?! Happy browsing!

Read the New York Times article that explains much better than I have!

david stark holiday from west elm

I opened my email this morning to find one from West Elm advertising their David Stark holiday collection. It is focused on recycled materials and everyday objects that have been given new life as holiday decor! Anyway, this prompted me to continue to look and see what else is out there this season. Lots of neutrals and clever materials being used. I have been hesitant about how much decorating I will do this year, and definitely haven't felt the need to buy anything new; so it is inspiring to think about reusing what I might already have and to MAKE a few new decorations and gifts.

Season's Fleeting Wreath; Leaf ornaments; Snowflake Doilies; Metallic Leaves; Screen Printed Wrapping Paper; Yarn Skein ornament; Recycled Paper garland and Red & White twine; Card Garland; Winter Ice Canape Plate

smell good stuff

It definitely turned Fall/with a touch of Winter this week! Time to pull out coats and scarves, and make soups, ciders, and all foods that are cozy! My friend Faith came over the other night bearing a wonderful gift that is perfect for this time of year. A satchel filled with spices that once put on the stove to simmer will make your house smell so festive! It reminds me of home because my mom does this too. It is so simple, but packaged the way Faith did makes for a great little gift. So here is the scoop:

Throw the following into a swatch of fabric and tie off with a ribbon:
2 cinnamon sticks
2-3 whole nutmeg
Palm full of whole cloves
Palm full of whole All Spice

Attach a handmade tag with the following directions:
Cover with water all contents of package and sliced oranges. Boil then simmer. Lasts one week.

Pair the package of spice with 2 oranges and you are set! Happy Holidays!

auntie em goes shopping

My only sister is having her first baby at the end of December. I will officially be "Auntie Em"! I could not be more excited about this baby, and as the date gets closer, I find myself constantly searching for the cutest baby stuff I can find!

I am obsessed with all of these items. I mean, those Rainbow Blocks are SO beautiful I want a set just for myself! And, I have been eyeing the Eames elephant stool for years now. And that little red fox onesie paired with those moccasins will make for the coolest baby on the block! Oh, and no worries, sis, I have already gotten the "My Aunt Rocks" shirt! ;)

Wooden Rainbow Blocks; Cord-Roy Elephant; Wooden mobile; T-shirt; Gray striped sleep sack; Wooden Nesting Cave; Fox Onesie; Moccasins; Eames elephant

terrain

I am not sure how I came across this site, but I absolutely love everything on it! They have such beautiful everyday objects. I have found that if you surround yourself with the simplest of beauty, any normal task can become more enjoyable. Such as making homemade pickles and placing them in an etched jar, or using medication out of a cobalt blue bottle. It doesn't take much.