30 September 2011


I am going with some friends to hear Wilco on Saturday night. They just released a new album on Tuesday, so I have been listening to it all week to be more familiar with what they will probably be playing at the show! I love Wilcoand am excited that this current album is returning a bit to some of their earlier stuff. Even though I have seen them plenty of times over the years, and have heard all of my favorite songs from old albums, I am secretly hoping they will bring a few of those back out this weekend. Here are two songs from the new album that I am digging. And then a handful from older albums that I can never get enough of!

I Might

Dawned on Me

You and I (with Feist)

Ill Fight

California Stars

Jesus, Etc.

Forget the Flowers

Far, Far Away (a little shout out to Ken Coomer on the drums! Look at that hair! Love it!)

Late Greats

22 September 2011

end of summer

And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.

(F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby)

I love that line life was beginning over again with the summer..” I love it because I relate to it. I have always felt that I was most alive in the summers. I was born during one of the hottest ones in Mississippi, so that might be why. With this Summer coming to an end, I cant really say though that I felt as if my life started over or anything. Maybe it is better to say that these last few months have been more focused on living and less focused on life ending. This is a bittersweet thing, but I have to welcome it.

Fall is pretty much here. I am already making pot roasts, turning the air conditioner off, and ordering fall flavored coffees for my Keuring! The Harvest Moon has come and gone and when we wake up tommorrow it will officially be Fall. I am slightly bothered by how quickly time is moving, but I suppose that is what I love about the seasons. The excitement as each new one begins distracts from how quickly a year can go by.

So I am saying goodbye to a summer that was quiet but eventful. I was blessed with relaxing evenings with friendsold and new, precious time with family, and plenty of projects to keep my creative side going. I had a chance to heal my soul by the ocean, and later wake it up in the city. There was a lot of time to myself (which I have finally settled into), as well as many opportunities to remind myself that I am fortunate to have so many cool people in my life. There is a fullness that has come from this Summer, that while not starting over, has been a gift of renewal.

16 September 2011

necessary days

Yesterday was one of those days that I have begun to refer to as “necessary”. These are days that whether they are good or tough, it is necessary that you walk through it in order to experience something specific. Yesterday was a bit of both. I have found that one of the most difficult things about losing someone is figuring out how to navigate a life that used to have that person so prominently in it. This is made even more complicated if you believe you still feel them around. Whether that is due to grieving, or because we need to tell ourselves they are still available in order to cope, or because you really do believe that we never really lose connections—the place that your brain and heart can go is a strange reality. I am a believer that we never lose connection. How this works is less important to me than knowing this as truth. The opposite of this is to be punched in the face with the fact that they did actually pass away and are no longer on Earth. I found myself teetering between both of these very real worlds. This space, in my experience, can be very uncomfortable.

The following bit of writing kept coming to my mind. I found it in August and had, for some reason, recently read over it again. The words “I am in the thousand winds that blow…and the “I have not left” were prominent in my thoughts all day. This would be because they were part of what made my day necessary:

"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave bereft I am not there. I have not left." —Mary Elizabeth Frye

A plaque was ordered months ago that will mark the time E spent walking amongst us. I received the call in the morning that it was ready. As I stood over the plaque, after months and months of waiting…”Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there” I picked myself up and continued through my day.

As I was leaving work and walking to my car I could not help but notice how windy it was. Unusually windy. Unusually bright and warm. “I am in the thousand winds that blow…. I am in the thousand winds that blow..” Is he?

On my drive home I noticed a crazy homeless man wearing a Gibson shirt. I recognized it as a promotional shirt that E had used during his time with the company. Because he was in charge of taking these to every event, we had ended up with a stack of them at the house. We used to laugh a bit when we would throw a few into our Goodwill pile and wonder where they would end up. “One day we will see some crazy homeless guy wearing these!” After a difficult day I was grateful for that reason to chuckle. Grateful for this specific reminder to laugh—specific to only the two of us. "I have not left." 

“I am in the thousand winds that blow…I am in the thousand winds that blow” and so maybe he is.

08 September 2011

old faithful shop

I really love what the folks at Old Faithful are doing. They have some great items in their shop and I love the simplicity of what they are focused on. If I am ever in Vancouver I will have to stop in!

While it sounds strange, I really love that little screwdriver! I find myself having to dig through tools more often than I would expect, and this little guy might come in handy to keep in a drawer nearby. That day-planner is beautiful! And possibly perfect for me, considering you can pencil in your own months and days. I just reached the end of mine, only I didn't know it because I had not looked at it in well over a month! Hmmm..very tempting!

06 September 2011

pottery class

I start a pottery class tonight. I am excited to get my hands back in the clay. I don’t expect much more from this class than getting reacquainted with the craft, and the wheel, and glazing, and maybe doing a bit more slab building than I did while I was in college. And also to be happy that I am now at a place to get started back down this road that I feel strongly will be a long one in my life. You may remember this post back in December, but the fact that pottery is one of the only real long-term goals that I have, still holds true. I don’t expect to be gray in the near future, so the pressure is off to have this figured out anytime soon. But I know myself well enough to know that it takes me some time to find my voice in anything, much less be at a place of really having something refined and understood. Here’s hoping that getting back on the pottery wheel is like riding a bike!

a few inspirational images from Pinterest:

Source: flickr.com via Emily on Pinterest

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